Dating a sexual assault victim

How should you date a victim of sexual assault?

Victims of sexual assault may also need more time to feel comfortable engaging in sexual activity if that is something of interest to them. When dating victims of sexual assault, you need to respect their timelines. In the aftermath of my sexual assault, I was blamed for the violence that I had endured.

Is it possible to be sexually assaulted by a romantic partner?

Yes. Sexual assault is any sexual activity you do not consent to — no matter whom it is with. Sexual assault by an intimate partner (someone you have a sexual or romantic relationship with) is common. Nearly half of female rape victims were raped by a current or former partner.

Is it OK to start dating again after sexual assault?

There’s no “right” way to start dating again after sexual trauma; it’s going to be jarring regardless, but there are ways to make it a little easier. Below, Gilbert and other therapists share the general advice they give sexual assault survivors who are starting to date again.

How do you confide in someone you love about your sexual assault?

If someone you love is confiding in you, the best approach is always with love, patience, understanding, and empathy. I am forever grateful to my friends and family who made me feel safe and loved as I went through the process of sharing my story. If you are a victim or survivor of sexual assault/abuse, please know that you are not alone.

How do I start dating again after sexual assault?

There’s no “right” way to start dating again after sexual trauma; it’s going to be jarring regardless, but there are ways to make it a little easier. Below, Gilbert and other therapists share the general advice they give sexual assault survivors who are starting to date again. 1. Take as long as you need to be by yourself.

What should I do if my loved one was sexually assaulted?

Let the victim decide who to tell about the assault. Most victims of sexual assault struggle with a great deal of shame and embarrassment. Sharing the details of the victims experience with others will just deepen those wounds. Allow your loved one the opportunity to decide who knows what happened.

Should I tell a date that I’m a sexual violence survivor?

There is no right or wrong approach to telling a date that you are a survivor of sexual violence. It’s a completely personal decision, and you have to figure out what works for you.

What should I do when I hear about rape victims?

As my story can prove, rape is a crime that can ruin far more than two lives. So, whenever you hear about a rape victim, know the severe psychological pain that they face on a daily basis, and be respectful of their feelings. But, also look to understand and support their family, friends, and loved ones—trust me, they’re hurting too.

What should I do if my loved one was sexually assaulted?

Let the victim decide who to tell about the assault. Most victims of sexual assault struggle with a great deal of shame and embarrassment. Sharing the details of the victims experience with others will just deepen those wounds. Allow your loved one the opportunity to decide who knows what happened.

Should I tell my partner about my sexual assault?

Though you don’t ever have to tell a romantic partner about sexual assault, if you’re sexually intimate with them it can help both of you to understand what you are comfortable with and anything you might want to avoid because of your past experiences.

How can I cope with my fear of being assaulted?

Skills to calm your body. Whether you enjoy yoga, or you want to try progressive muscle relaxation, there are many coping strategies that can calm your body’s physiological responses (like a rapid heartbeat). Strategies to face your fears. Many survivors of sexual assault go to great lengths to avoid being reminded of what happened.

How can you support a partner who has been sexually abused?

“Remove yourself from your partner’s narrative and let them lead,” notes Price. “By doing this you are reaffirming to the survivor that they have power again and that their story matters.”