Dating a sexual assault victim

Is it possible to be sexually assaulted by a romantic partner?

Yes. Sexual assault is any sexual activity you do not consent to — no matter whom it is with. Sexual assault by an intimate partner (someone you have a sexual or romantic relationship with) is common. Nearly half of female rape victims were raped by a current or former partner.

Is it my fault if I was sexually assaulted?

In the United States, one in three women has experienced some type of sexual violence. 1 If you have been sexually assaulted, it is not your fault, regardless of the circumstances. What is sexual assault? Sexual assault is any type of sexual activity or contact, including rape, that happens without your consent.

How should you date a victim of sexual assault?

Victims of sexual assault may also need more time to feel comfortable engaging in sexual activity if that is something of interest to them. When dating victims of sexual assault, you need to respect their timelines. In the aftermath of my sexual assault, I was blamed for the violence that I had endured.

Is it OK to start dating again after sexual assault?

There’s no “right” way to start dating again after sexual trauma; it’s going to be jarring regardless, but there are ways to make it a little easier. Below, Gilbert and other therapists share the general advice they give sexual assault survivors who are starting to date again.

Can you be sexually assaulted while in a relationship?

Yes. Any time someone forces himself/herself on you sexually without your consent, this can be sexual assault or rape. Even if you’re married to or in a relationship with the person who is assaulting or raping you, this doesn’t make it any less “real.” 1 Sexual assault within a relationship is not uncommon.

What is intimate partner sexual assault?

Intimate partner sexual assault is an assault that is committed by a current or past spouse or boyfriend. This includes cohabitating couples who are not married since the relevant relationship dynamics of long-term cohabiting couples are similar to those of legally married couples.

Can sexual abuse happen between dating relationships and marriage?

We often equate romantic relationships with consent — leading to the common misconception that sexual abuse cannot happen between individuals in dating relationships and marriages. But this is far from the truth.

What should I do if my partner has been sexually assaulted?

That’s why it’s so important to remind your partner that they’re not powerless, said Sandra Henriquez, the CEO of the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault. “If a physical assault occurred within the last 72 hours, contact a local sexual assault agency for guidance and advocacy in dealing with hospitals and law enforcement,” she said.

Can you date after a sexual assault?

Theres no one-size-fits-all way to navigate the aftermath of trauma, especially when it comes to dating after a sexual assault. The mental, emotional, and physical side effects of surviving this experience can make dating, relationships, sex, and intimacy particularly daunting.

Can you have a healthy sex life after sexual assault?

It can be incredibly difficult to have a healthy relationship and sex life after sexual assault: Years and years can pass before you feel connected enough to your body to even think about getting intimate with someone.

Is it safe to date after a trauma?

For many, dating after a trauma — especially after sexual assault— is a way to try and take back the pen. But it can be daunting: deciding who it is safe to be vulnerable with and how to set boundaries.

How can I regain my sexuality after a sexual assault?

“Touching yourself mindfully in your erogenous zones and finding out what it is like to feel your own touch can be a good reintroduction of your sexuality after the assault,” said Silva Neves, a London-based psychotherapist who specializes in sexual trauma therapy. Breathe and deeply focus on the touch.